Once upon a midnight dream
by kawaigothik
Summary: Devi is a super normal teenage girl universtiy student who loves everybody and everything especially chinese food takeout with nutella. PLEASE READ NO FLAMES R&R CONTAINS LEMONS SOMETIMES BEWARE
1. Chapter 1

AN:/ Me: THIS IS SSERIOUS FANFCIONT PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! NO FLAMEZ XCEPT FIRE IS COOL

Devi Agape Lisle Fairchild-Morningstar

First I was certain of three things

My first middle name was Agape

My second middle name was Lisle

The third thing was that I was only certain of two things


	2. Chapter 2

There were chinese boxes littered around her dormitory. From her bed she rose and saw noodles in her hair ((not in a sexy way)). Although she had a special box in the closet for those kinds of purposes and when she was craving some extra long manmeat

At least 5 long

Devi stared at her report card lying on her desk and flipped her noodle hair with a manicured fingert. Just one finger is all she needed

"Wow look at all my A+s. Damn." She was so damn brilliant the professors asked her to teach them

The classes she was taking were Japanese 303, Math 610, Aquatic Exercise 14, and English 002. For her English homework she had to go interview some bigshot at a ginormo company


	3. Chapter 3

Devi was walking downtown eating chinese food with nutella when all of a sudden Christian Grey tumbled into her face

"Hey WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DUMBSHIT," said devi

"Who the fuck are you" probed Christian Gray

"I am Devi Agape Lisle Panagiota Fairchild" Devi screamed at the clearly stupid male of her species

Christian Gay had very lovely long eyelashes like springs of peppermint only they had pieces of dandruff in them so it resembled a Christmas tree in the snow

"Wow wtf do u shower" devi yelled

"not after a hot night of banging my voluptuous waifu"

"Omgee u speak nihongo desu?"

"Hai."

"Holy shit"

Christian Gay asks what she has eaten and she shows him her noodles

"_人間の麺を食べています"_

_"__wow that is very desu"_

_"__yes, thank you"_

_"__W-w-w-wow you are s-soo coolio"_

_Devi plushed. She was very soft and stuffed with chinese food _

_"__That is me and my waifu's favorite gohan. Last night we got hecked up from the neck up while eating it desu."_

_"__Would you like to have lunch with me Mr Gay?"_

_"__Hai but only if we speak in nihongo"_

_"__Cierto"_


	4. Chapter 4

Christian Gay took me to his house it was fucking ginormo with like 6 cars in the front and at least 3 rooms

All the cielings were covered with crystal chandeliers

"Wow this is so kawaii," said me

"let's have a dance party right now" said Christian gay

"ok!"

a disco ball descended from the heavens as if god himself had approved of this event

"you go girl" said god or maybe my inner goddess

Suddenly from stage left Obama wheeled in on a Segway

Christian grey said "I didn't want us to be Obamaselves" said mr gay

Obama frowned loudly at his nemesis, mr gay

"I am sorry we are not good friends but I thought we could do better than this" said Obama

a dove in a tree is succumbing to gravity (ooc: THIS FOR MY FRIEND, DOVE THIS U) and fell on the sidewalk/dancefloor

"O hot damn this is my jam" said devi. Many Directions was playing and next came a song by alice cooper. They thrashed vigorously. Obama even broke his arm and had to go home. He exited stage right.

Devi's hues grew large and pink as he left. They were becoming best bros.

Mr gay came over and began to undress devi

"Im sorry I was just so overcome with your beauty that I had to see you" he ejaculated

"UM EW! " said devi


	5. Chapter 5

Devi was incredibly embarrassed but it made her also very wet but also so scared she wanted to have hot magma diarrhea coming out her hershey highway over mr gays manslinger

Mr grey was already fondling her orfices and yelled

"Wow you are very lucid at this mormont"

"ur like a dad but I also would like your peeny weeny inside of me"

"as you wish your highness."

Christian gay laid me down on the concrete and began to kiss my breasts.

Suddenly his 20 inch human hotdog sprung forth and invaded me.

"Oh my god, aren't you married?"

"it's a little late for that, isn't it" he laughed. "its ok, she's only a blow-up doll. I also have dakimakuras in my bedroom."

"oh mr gay… that's so kawaii.

"I know desu"

then we fricked and fricked again in the booty

and that day I learned don't pull out the anal beads like you're pulling on a lawn mower


	6. Chapter 6

Devi had a sore bum from the party.  
also she was laying on the driveway which was a little bit uncomfortable just a little bit  
snow was falling from the sky onto their bodies making them very cold and almost dead feeling  
"maybe we should go inside" ejaculated devi  
"yes you should meet my waifu"  
"oh so sugoi desuuu!"  
they went into the door and mr gay went upstairs and came back with a framed picture album  
"Devi... I would like you to meet my waifu"  
the picture album was full of pictures of mr gay and kristen stewart photoshopped inside  
"wow this is kawaii" devi cried  
"yes thank you"  
suddenly the pictures began to move and kristen stewart spoke  
"Am I the only one in this story who feels that it's honestly stupid that the two of you bumped into each other, magically knew one another's name, and then randomly went out for lunch? And what is all of this nonsense Japanese that the two of you are spewing? Waifu? What are you talking about? And for that matter, why am I even speaking at all? I'm a fucking picture, for fuck's sake!"  
"shes really sugoi" devi commmented


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:/ GAIS I SAID NO FLAMES. OK? /**

please i need to show you something else" said mr gay. he took me downstairs into the darkness like hell and opened a bloody red door

inside was a german sex dungeon filled with water pistols, rubber chickens, apple pies, blueberry pies, apple pies, strawberry pies, chinese takeout pies, nutella jars, a dead dragon, five water bottles, a microwave, at least 6 crack cocaines, and a singular pair of handcuffs.

"s-s-s-s-s-s-sugoi," devi stamppered

"k-k-k-kawaii" said mr gay just like avril lavigne

mr gay came insideme from behind and put the thingie that covers your eyes and blocks out light

"are you ready for more fun"

i was except suddenly devi fell asleep in his arms!


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:/ PLEASE REVIEW GUYZZ! I WANT TO SHOW MY MOM THAT I HAVE FANS OF MY WORK KK?**

devi woke up at home from a very realistic dream

she had an anaconda peeny weenie and nicki minaj was dancign with her in the moonlight lovingly

suddenly a basket o f rolls fell fastly from the sky onto their faces and hairs. it was true love. her anaconda then did want some.

when she woke up at home there was no one in the room surprisingly

"i guss mr gay had other shit to do" she sighed depressingly

"u guess wrong" mr gay said deepely from the darkness of the corner of the room

"dude if you give me a heart attack youll have to tlake me to the hospital, kk?"

"kk" said mr grey very seriously. he was very super sorry for beinga a big dumbbutt.

devie sighed again depressdly. she was a little sad bc mr gay hadnt asked her avery important question

"mr gay, dont you have somthing to ask me?" she fluttereeteed her eyelashes like fluttershy the best pony of them all

"idk" mr gay growled with deep sex eyes

"no i am not going to do that again" devi huffed. no consent for mr gay it was a very big porblem in the way of making love

"pls tell me what is wrong babu"

"u did not ask me to be ur gf!" devi was red mad angry

"im rlly sorry," mr gay said sorrily. "pls. will u b my gf?"

"ok i guess." devi said deepley. she now gave him consent but mr gay was troubled by her painful face

"what if we went on a date tonight?"

"wow really? SUGOI!" devi screamed in his face. "let's go to disney land!"


	9. Chapter 9

Mr gay took me into his piano room because he wanted to show me something

"gay-kun what is it?" devi spewed

"I would like to show you my piano. Im pretty good so sit right down and I'll play for you"

"okie dokie gay-senpai" I was loving him more and more by the second. Only the best guys could play piano

mr gay sat down and began to poke the keys

he played twinkle twinkle little star and paused a few times to remember the notes

"mr gay, wow that was so sugoi. Do you know any anime songs?"

"not yet but when I learn one I'll invite you over kk?"

"aw I wanted to hear it now gay-sama"

"well I guess you could live here until I learned it" mr gray was jigsaw puzzling over this. He was also naked on the piano and his butt cheeks looked very round and soft like bread dough

"AH! HONTONIIII?" devi almost made a pee pee at the anticipation "I need to go home and get my stuff!"

"don't worry I already sent a servant to go get it you don't have to worry about that. I also know where you life too. Its ok im rich so don' t call the cops."

"ummmmmmmmm….ok" devi said


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:/VER DARK THEMES DONUT READ IF U DO NOT LIKE POOLS OR HUMAN BEENGS**

Now lets go up to my rooftop pool" mr gay screamed in a kawaii sailor moon voice. He even pulled a tiara out of his ass pocket and put it on his hairs

He wasn't wearing pants so it was lodged in his buttcheeks with a little poo on the sparkls so he wiped it on the wall

"anyway I think ull like it up there" mr gay jocked

we went up in a sparkly elevator full of grape soda and a blue chandelier

on top of the roof was a ginormo pool filled mostly with water except….thERE WAS A DEAD BODY IN IT!1

"Holy fuck" devi creamed

mr gay looked very embarrassed

"im sorry I didn't think u'd mind but I guess my last girlfriend couldn't swim whoopsie" he went over to the dead body and pulled it out of the pool laughing like satan

"I no what u r…" devi located. She located the info in her genius brain filled under super powers

"say it out loud"

"a….. vampire"

"yes that's right im sorry now I need to drink this blood hope you don't mind"

"but mr gay…. Im on my period"

"o devi….. I new we were meant to be"

mr gay stalked me from across the roof. I wanted to back away but I might fall and die

"pls let me see that vagina kool-aid"

"k-k-k-kawaii" I said like avril lavigne


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:/ GUYS I SAID NO FLAMES! KK? MY MOM WONT BE PROUD OF ME IF yOU KEEP SAYING ITS BAD I NEED TO SHOW HER MY FANS! KK! STOP BEING MEAN I AM DOING MY BESTEST. Also this time! My friend did the beta thingie for me SO I HOPES U LIKE IT GUYSSSSSSSSS**

Devi had fell asleep in mr gays big butt bed with like 5 pillows at least around her. She thought it was inapropro for them to sleep together so mr gay was in the bathtub

She woke up and some servants dressed her like sebaschan in black butler

"wow, u are just like that sugoi butler!" devi said. Are you a demon tooo?

Mr gay suddnely appeared

"yes everyone in my mansion is a magical being. In fact I am also a demon as well as a vampire and I can change my species at will"

"holy fuck" devi commended "that's cool but I probably have to go to school now so ill see u later kk?'

"wait pls don't leave me I'm very alone inside" mr gay whispered loudly

devi felt very sad at his sadness

"but….."

"its ok im rich so u don't have to go to school kk?" mr gay was pleading w her and crying a lot. So many tears where comging out of his face

"that's only if u get me pregnangt and have to pay child support tho"

"but devi….. you are pregnant"

"omg what did you do!"

**AN:/ WHAT DO YOU THINKS GPNNA HAPPEN GUYS?**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:/ I WROTE THIS RLLY FAST SO SORRY FR TYPOS LOVE YA XXXXXXXXXXX x**

mr gay took devi back into the bedroom and stripped her clothes off with his lazer vision of a ruch white boy

he used his lazzers to levitttitty her onto the big butt bed. devi was scared but also turned on like a lava lamp

the lasers were worm and aroosing. she licked her pinkie toe sedudtively

"do you have an yu nutella to pyut on my titties and tummy"

"im all out you ate it all last night for dinner"

"o yeah. the baby is making me so hongry and horney" i screemed "i am hongry" lets get this on

"lets get down to business"

to defeat the huns "calm down mulan" mr gay said while swinging his teeney weenie around like a helicopeter

i karate chopped his dike

"excuse me im the dom missy" i tell u what to do. now. do the hokey pokey.

devi put her left foot in! devi put her left foot out!

mr gay ejaculated

"imsorry i didnt mean tot be so quick i was just htinking of ur feet and the baby at the same time" it was sexy said mr gay sexily

in the cornere there was a photo of bill clinton and devi stared at it while rubbbbing her nippynop

"i did not have saxual relations with that woman" bill clintons photo whispered. devi moaned

"holy SHITTTT!1 a talking muffing!"

"no u dumbbutt bananalicker thats my bro billy" said mr grey

"why are all the pictuers talking" devi screamed

"thats not important" mr gay said violently "btw this is actually hogwarts sh dont tell"

"wow"

"hogwarts hogwarts hoggywarty hogwarts" he ejaculated again sexily


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:/ GUS FOR THE LAST TIME STOP BEING MEAN OR ILL TEll ON U! I AM A SMALL GIRL AND YOU ARE CIBERBULLYING! I SAW THAT MOVIE OK I KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN.**

devi and mr gay had a chocolate bath in the man entrance of his house. it was so diddly dang big that they just dumped chocolate all over the floor and rooled in it. mr gay sang chocolate rain while enjoing the sugary goodness of life. devi wished loudly that it was nutella but just dealt with it anyway

"im sure glad u have such a big house mr gay. otherwise we couldnt do this shit"

"yeah ur right"

"how did you make your money nyway?" devi probed him

"well its a long story devi... and really sad, u kno?"

"omg a tragic backstory...mr gay, im so ssooryy. ur so wkawaii, so don't feel bad."

"thank you, devi." mr gay said seriously "its hard to be a fairy demon princess. i bur n a lot of calories every day and this is helpping me recover"

"im glad to be of help to you" devi said nicely

"devi... will you be the nacho to my cheese?"

"are you prorpsing to me?"

"only if you want to there is no pressure except it would be nice if you said yes"

"well... im sorry but... im in love with someonesele/"

"...yowhat?"

"im osrry there is just someone else, mr gay"

"tell me his name"

"well actually its your waifu. i want to go out with her so ill be borrowing all the pictues of her. also i have a date with obama tomorrow... sorry bro"

a singular silver tear trailed from mr gays handsom face

"i thought what we had was special"

"im sorry. ill see you later."

"kk." said mr gay depressingly


	14. Chapter 14

**AN:/ IM GONNA TRY RLLY HARD ON THIS ONE!**

It was sunday so devi had to go ot church and pray to the lord and savoir jesus and also god. church was okay except it was full of old people and they smelled kind of funny but she prayed that they would die soon so that they didn't have to smell anymore

Inside the church devi saw Stephenie Meyer and E.L. James praying at the altar for their sins. all of a sudden edward cullen burst through the stained glass and stephenie gasped.

"i forgot how hot u were" she screamed and fell into a coma

"so much for praying" devi said and shook her head. what a dumbbutt. tjhs was no place for such antics.

suddenly! mr gay burst through the doors crying. he had angel wings and a halo above his head

"Mr gay! What are you doing here?" devi speweed

"i had to see you." he asaid, clutching her fingernails. "please don't leave me." he begans to sing the song by pink while crying ,also some snot went into his mouth

"gross" devi said. she did not like booger eaters that was just nasty

"we are in the house of the lord pull yourself together" she burped

"im sorry" mr gay spammed. "what will it take gor u to return to me?"

"let me go, christi," devi sid.


	15. Chapter 15

Devi hadnt actually been to schoool so she thought maybe she should to that for like once or twise

so she poope into the the classroom the next morning to do her maths while the prof was sill giving a lecute about finding big D and little d

"go d this is boring" devi screamed at him. "let's learn about cats or some shit"

the prof didn't know anything abotu kittens so class was dismissed for the rest of the year and he went home to study about kittens and their barby penisses (did u know thats real!)

next devi had to go to her english class they werea learning about lewis carool smoking cocaine or shooting maryjuwana

"this is not decent conversation!" she ejakulated and left very fastly. the students were in agreement and also left.

"god what is wrong with this place." devi whispered seductively to a bush much like untrimed pewbs

suddenly! mr grey pooped out from one of the pewbbushes

"come back and live with me!" he said! "DESSUUUU!"

"Omg no" devi said flipped her hair "u are not desu or kawaii or sugoi!"

mr gay began to cry


	16. Chapter 16

mr gay was still crying and calvin COOLige appeared to console him.

"hey man be cool like me" prezzy COOLidge said. he gave mr gay a highfive and a free refridgerator to chill with.

"dont tell me waht to do" mr gay gurgled. his face was much like a sandy salty tear beach like when you go to a nude beach but you see a bit more than u wanted.

devi had had had enough of this and decided to go to mr gays house. she locked him out since she lived there now

"haha thats what you GET" she said and did a dance naked in the hallways

all the servants did the macerena with her and she had a limbo party. all without mr gay.

he was sitting outside looking into the mansion as devi had hot picture stripteases with billy clinton, his saxaphone, and kristen stewart

"it's all ogre now" mr gay said wiping a tear from his face. he pulled a pictue of shrek from his wallet and began to jack off to it as his only source of hap-penis


	17. Chapter 17

devi was very upset about somehing but she couldn't remember what. she had hearsomething in her dream about the destiny of the millenium rod and she was deermined to figure it out

"DEVI! YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE THE NEXT SOUL KEEPER OF THE PHARAOH OF THE MILLENIUM ROD" mr gays eyes lit up as he screamed the prophecy at her one day at breakfast

"how did u get in?" devi said seriously. "I need to call CPI security!"

mr gay almost cried but he held the tears in.

"devi no! I need you to defeat Seto Kaiba once and for all!"

"?" said DEVI.

"Take this card! It is a Rainbow-eyes sparkle kawaii dragon. It has 10000 ATTACK points and 4000000 Defnese points! you are sure to win!"

"ok i guess" devi screamed and ran off to beat up seto kaiba

"hello poor infant mortal baby" kaiba spit at her

devi was so mad she kicked him in the weiner and he fell over. she summoned her dragon and it killed him.

"take that u ding dong!" she yelled and struck a magical heroine pose. kaibas soul wne tto the shadow realm. FIVEVER.

the end. for now! DUNDUNDUJNNNNNNN


	18. Chapter 18

devi went to get some chinese food like she loved and also had a jar of nutella in her armpit but the chinese place was closed. it was a monday.

"D:" SAID DAVI.

a man in the restraunt burst throug the window. shards of glass were poking his lovely skin

"excuse me, we're closed," he informed davi

"i see..." davi sigged. "can you just give me some noodles tho? Ill give ya 100 bucks :D :D :D !"

"hmmmmm. okay i guess." the man dumped hot noodles on devis face

"THANKS!"she ejaculated. now she had noodle hair again and third degree burns so she ran to the hospital

a nurse looked at her like O.O and rushed inside, eating some of the noodles out of her hair. nurse joy was in the corner with a chansey and was singing the ABCs

"HALP I AM FIRE" DAVE SCREAMED softly.

"Holee sheet" nurse joy came and dumped hot oil on her to calm the fire.

"you dumb dumb! look what you did to my noodles!"

a squirtle rolled in from stage right and squirted her with "water". very squirty, while yelling "SQUIRTLE!"

it was utter chaos. dave ran home straight away from the madness

mr gay was waiting for dave in the library.

naked.


	19. Chapter 19

**NO FLAMEZZ! I WAS GONE So LONG BUT NOW IM BACK X)))) a mean PERSON TRIED TO REPORT THIS... I don't understand did i do somwthing wrong? IM JUST TRYNA WRITE!**

Dave was walking odwn the street and saw mr gay come out of the fabric storye. he was holding memory foam with a big smile on his face.

"mr gay water u doing" davi asked innocently

"i bought some memory foam to help me remember things" mr gray replied happily

"thats neato" davi said, twirling a finger in her hairs. except it got knotted and then she was like OUSH and ripped out a few hairs

"O no are u okie dokie" mr gay asked very worredly

"im ok now that ur here..." davi whispered she wanted him to take her out on a date

"i will take u to the hair salon and they can put the hairs back in" mr gay said, and put the hairs on ice

"wowwee u sure are smart" davi said. he was deffo husubando materials and she would have 2 tell all her friends the deets

"ok well ill see you later" he gasped nad davi wanted to kiss him

"wowwee he just makes me so hungry" she said, with drool running down her face and chin she was so hungry for mr gays man meat

like his actual meat not the other thingie ;)

dave went to the hardware store to get som supplies for her adventure

"soon u will be mine mr gay" she screamed


	20. Chapter 20

Mr. Grey had just about had enough with that girl. Those shenanigans she pulled were utterly ridiculous, and he wouldn't stand for them much longer.

How he longed to pull her onto his bed and spank that stupidity right out of her pleasant little bottom.

Then again, there was no way of telling how she would react—and likely it would result in even more stupidity. Really, he was at the end of his rope with her.

She showed up at the most inopportune of times, as if she were _following him around. _

And then the manner of people who appeared around her! As if some inane, inept writer were doing as they wished with her life, tossing in a bit of this and that, seeing what ideas came to them in experimental writing.

And the people who would read it! He couldn't imagine why they would do such a thing. A hard line was ground between his eyebrows—deep-set from all of this frustration.

It was getting ridiculous, honestly, and he needed to return to his work. He had more important matters to attend to. He was _Christian Grey_, after all!


	21. Chapter 21

Davi rored thru the streets searching for her prey

Mr ga would not get away this time.

she was too hungry and needed man meants to satisfy this thirst!

Dav sniffs the grond like a doggy looking for mrgay. She new the smells bu his expensive cologne that acttuualy smelled rlly bad

"WHERE ARE YOU " she rored into the night stky like a werewolf. Which she astually was!

Mr gay was sure to feel the fears in his bumsie. It was beeter when daves pray ran from himr

Hshe began to sing cannibal by ke$$ha to warn every1 of the blod thirst and theycowerd in bed there was even the guy from spongebb yelling "MY LEG" bc of stampede

Dave felt like Scar in the lion king and mr gay was mufasa running in the stampede yes hthe battle was to come v soon

He found mr gay in a backalley cowring in the garbage

K k k kawai" said dave


End file.
